Wait…is romance dead?

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Hi, my name is Kristina and I’m not a romantic.

Despite being a half of a 9-year relationship and a believer in unconditional love, I still have to admit that I roll my eyes at lovey dovey scenes and deep, meaningful declarations of love. I don’t need nor want a man dropping on his knees, asking me to marry him. I think it has more value if he does it looking me in the eye, with both feet firmly on the ground. I don’t want to devote my entire life to someone. I want to hold onto my goals, career, dreams and have that person next to me, striving for the things he wants. I want a partnership. Love isn’t going to feed you. It’s not going to put a roof over your head. Romance will not pay the bills. Well, unless your chosen one is loaded – but that’s a different topic.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not the Valentine vigilante, taking lives of people in love. But I do think that if people were in love with themselves first, knew themselves well and didn’t look for completion in someone else, there would be far less heartbreak in the world.

I want attention and support – not flowers and chocolates. Good conversation and sharing with my partner – not a three-course dinner and champagne. I want intimacy and caress – not sex for the sake of it. There is no bouquet, no jewellery, no dress (wait, maybe there are shoes) that would make me stay with someone who didn’t respect, value and support me. If you don’t let me be me, there will be no us.

I think that romance isn’t lit up with candles. Or received through presents. Or consumed in a glass of champagne with a delicious strawberry. It is found and proven with unconditional love, support, trust, loyalty, attention, communication and appreciation. Not trying to change someone, but accepting them the way they are. That is what constitutes romance. That is what builds the foundation for a life-long relationship.

You might wonder how can someone like that write a contemporary romance novel? The answer is simple and crystal clear…we can be anything we want to be. We can have anything we want to have. And I’ve produced a book which describes a love with my style, my words and in my way. No one needs to get lost to sustain a relationship. No one has to submit. But there can be a new discovery through love. There can be a new piece to the puzzle of someone’s life – one that wasn’t even missing and now fits superbly.

Wishing you a great start of the week tomorrow!

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