Women – natural-born frenemies?

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I’ve just read an inspiring blog post (http://www.bethanyashley.com/2016/04/girl-talk-why-you-should-surround.html) about the shine theory and surrounding yourself with strong women. And I felt so connected to the words. My voice is hoarse because I’ve been screaming at people (not really but you get the picture) the very same idea. I’ve been dismissed more often than not because supposedly I was taking things too seriously, reading too much into random situations. But I’m suffocated by the idea of people not thinking about it. Is it better to not analyze something at all or too much? Of course, I’m guilty of the latter one constantly.

Women nowadays still face more challenges than men. Sorry, whether you admit it or not that’s the truth. We are scrutinized. There are people waiting for our mistakes. Women get judged. We are prosecuted for being too much of something or having too little of some quality. Whatever fits men better.

But it’s not just their fault. We do it to ourselves. I get very bothered by the looks females shoot in each other’s directions. The obvious up-and-down gaze assessing you, comparing you to her or someone else. Why do we feel the need to measure our own success, our own value by what someone else does, what they look like, what they’re wearing? Who cares?? It doesn’t matter.

During the days when women have finally stopped fighting for everybody else and forgetting about their battle for equality, we shouldn’t tear each other apart to make ourselves feel better for a split second. Because that is all that the faint satisfaction will last…a mere moment. Females shouldn’t compete with each other. We shouldn’t feel pride when taking someone’s man, or job, or the position in a line. All those things and more are not wins but rather personal failures. Losses of our true value. Don’t curl your nose at a girl’s outfit…appreciate it. Don’t look a woman sideways because you think men find her attractive. Don’t roll your eyes if you accidentally overhear a female’s funny remark. Don’t judge for her younger or older age, for her dark or blonde hair. Don’t refuse a good suggestion, just because you didn’t think of it…welcome it.

We have to stop competing with each other. Women have to start cheering for each other. We have to keep things civil and sincere, not underhanded and sneaky. Let’s be honest, females are the champions in being catty and aggressive towards each other. Why? There’s room for everyone. Everybody can shine. And we can all let each other do that. There are more than enough men that will try to undermine us because of our gender. Let’s not only fight against it. Let’s fight together.

XO

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