There are a few things in this world I don’t understand fully. Mostly, they are more philosophical and deep, involving confusing dilemmas of deciding whether the egg or the chicken was first (by the way, I think the latter was first). This is not such an example.
The story goes like this. A girl accepts a friendship request by a boy who seems to have common acquaintances. Nothing weird there. Who even cares about Facebook friendships? Is there anybody that takes them seriously? As soon as the acceptance goes through, the girl gets a message. And then another one. She replies by saying “Hi.” not wanting to be mean. And then she gets another message. And another one. She doesn’t want to reply anymore. So she doesn’t. The boy wants to know whether he has done something wrong. (Yes! You annoyed the girl.) She answers: “No. But I really don’t have time.” (Or the desire.) Of course, it doesn’t end there. The boy keeps asking questions. And the girl keeps ignoring him. He writes. She ignores. He asks. She ignores.
It made me wonder about a few things. Why would anyone think that they have the right to write to someone and basically demand replies? If a person’s profile states “In a relationship”, what makes someone believe that they have the right to start a meaningless, uninteresting and tiresome conversation leading nowhere but to a state of annoyance? Especially after being told nicely the recipient is not interested.
I don’t think that it’s wrong to contact someone you find interesting. But come on. We all know when people want to invade our space and just waste time (flirting).
I am sure that everyone has the right to decline, ignore and reject any communication or suggestion. Of course, I don’t think it should be done rudely and insensitively. But if I’m not interested in starting or continuing an interaction with someone, I will not allow anyone to make me feel bad about it.
Why do people believe that they can invade your privacy? And if you don’t want to engage, you are automatically thought to be mean and closed-off. Nope! I just have other things to do than to talk to random dudes. A, I am in a relationship (as it’s stated in my profile). And B, I just don’t want to talk to you. And I’m entitled to remove myself from any situation, honestly and nicely.
How can someone expect that as soon as they contact you, you are obligated to reply? It doesn’t work like that. Anyone on the receiving end has the right to decline any communication.
I know that we put ourselves out there through social media. And I understand some people seem to think privacy is a redundant idea. But some, myself included, don’t like their lives being public. And I choose who I let into it and whom I give information about myself. If the motivation behind your approaching me is to flirt, I won’t participate.
Although you accept someone’s friendship request that doesn’t mean that person can make you feel guilty about not replying to a question like “So, what’s up? What are you doing?”. Because my answers will be to think “I’m ignoring you.” just before I delete the conversation.
Hope you have a great start to the week.