This month I was at a birthday party. We started talking about my book (my favourite topic). And we were discussing the genre of romance novels and its most popular titles. We went into what makes my book different from others. And I jumped into my usual monologue of describing Alexis as someone strong and independent but it doesn’t take away – not even a fraction – from Colton’s masculinity and strength.
My idea is that a partnership nourishes and maximizes, not diminishes a person’s strength and independence. That’s where I was going with the story in my novel. Falling in love and entering a relationship is a brave thing. You let someone into your life. You trust someone. You love them. You make a new life with them. It’s not easy. It’s courageous. And wonderful. But both are significant as well as in control. A real man doesn’t demand a woman to lose herself and spend more time kneeling than standing.
A partnership is made of two equally important individuals. But it is just that. It’s made of two individuals (or more, I don’t know what you’re into and I’m not judging). One shouldn’t or rather mustn’t lose themselves when in love and in a relationship. Any relationship for that matter. Everyone brings something, some qualities, to a partnership and that shouldn’t be obliterated just because of another person. A woman doesn’t need to be robbed of her voice, intelligence or strength to be found attractive and interesting. And neither does the man.
When I finished my lengthy and probably more detailed explanation that they had asked for, my boyfriend’s nice and smart friend said: “So, she’s a bitch.” I swear my neck turned immediately. I felt like I was in the Exorcist. If looks could kill, he would have been dead on the spot.
I’ve written about it. And talked about it. And annoyed with it. And I will never stop. Because since when has it become a custom to label a strong and independent woman who is ambitious and hard-working as a bitch?
This expression should be used to describe a person, man or woman, who is acting mean and nasty. And not a female you feel threatened by. That’s exactly what it is. Using this particular word says more about the speaker than about the target it’s directed at. Calling someone that, shows that you are insecure, weak, jealous and threatened. What it says about the woman it’s meant to label is that she is doing a lot of things right for you to notice her and try to take her down.
Why tear anyone down? Help and build each other up!
Have a great weekend!