Last night was the first public event where I was given the chance to speak about my book and the ideas that led me to write the story in Equinox.
I might speak my mind and could be perceived as unbothered by attention and spotlight but trust me that is far from being the case. I was so nervous and anxious that every time my phone rang or pinged with an email I was hoping that the event had been cancelled. No such luck. In the days and hours leading up to it I was fighting hard not to let my nerves and doubts get to me. Whether you want to or not you start thinking of embarrassing yourself, making a mistake, of questioning if they’ll like you and your novel.
But then I closed my eyes, talked to my angels and told myself that this is what I’m meant to do. And I have to start somewhere. I took a deep breath and faked confidence until I actually believed it myself. I kept repeating to myself to stay cool and no one will know there is a storm of fear and anxiety ravaging through me.
So the night was a success – I sold books, made connections, managed to express myself eloquently and the nagging perfectionist inside me has nothing to torture me with today. (Ha ha, screw you.) I even managed to not blush when addressed; which has been an annoying reoccurrence anytime someone asks me about the book. I got a lot of positive feedback and really enjoyed the evening. I feel so blessed to have more and more people interested in my writing. There is absolutely no feeling that could match it.
It was such a fun and empowering evening. The host gathered successful women and gave them a platform to talk about the society locally and globally. And it felt phenomenal to share the stage and a conversation with them. Each of us was different, each had something powerful to say and each made an impact. It was beyond flattering and fantastic to be sitting next to them.
And as meaningful the common message conveyed to our local society might have been yesterday, it was a magical night for me personally. I am proud of myself – I didn’t let my stage fright get the best of me and I represented myself and my book well, widening my audience. Last night confirmed what I’d already known – I was born to do this. I have found my place and my calling. Someone would have to pull my dead, rigid hands off it before I let it go myself. I am meant to be an author. I am destined to write and publish books. It is my fate to have my life revolve around that. And I am so excited about what’s to come.
I hope you have a great start of the week tomorrow!