What (the hell) am I reading?

Rezultat iskanja slik za girlboss book

So I just finished reading #GIRLBOSS and I know it has many positive reviews online but I struggled to finish it. It has a powerful message and I’m sure there are people that can relate to it and need to read the words in it, but personally, I didn’t read anything shocking or thought-provoking, nothing that I couldn’t stop myself from noting down. Not because it was crap but because I didn’t feel the connection to it. There was no aha moment for me.

 

 

Rezultat iskanja slik za all your perfects

 

So as soon as I closed that book I purchased Colleen Hoover’s latest novel. Ever since I read one of her books (for me the first one was IT ENDS WITH US) I haven’t been able to stop. I adore CH’s writing and stories. The last one I read was Without Merit which left me wanting more. The story was nice and interesting, her writing great but I am just in a mindset where I don’t necessarily want to read about teenagers and their lives. I’m dying to start reading this one and I’m starting without knowing anything additional about it (besides the plot) and without seeing any reviews because expectations are mean and nasty fuckers. 

Has anyone read it already?

What are you reading currently?

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Turning mistakes into progress

Progress comes from mistakes. It’s one of the most difficult lessons I’ve learned. I’ve always been someone obsessed with perfection, with not allowing myself to make any mistakes, striving to be an ideal. I wouldn’t say I’ve been completely rehabilitated but I’ve accepted that just as rules are made to be broken mistakes are made to be made and learned from.

Experience, faults, false moves and wrong decisions are there to teach us, to make us grow. We mustn’t be scared to make mistakes, we must be terrified of not learning from them. Of course, you feel disappointed and sad after making a mistake and it’s hard to remind yourself that it’s a chance to evolve. But even though it’s hard it’s more than necessary.

I’m sure that each of us if we look back can pinpoint everything we could or should have done differently, but what good does hindsight do if you don’t use in the future? You’re not a failure by doing a mistake, it’s not a crime. But you should do yourself some good and not wallow over mistakes and simply move on from them. Progress and evolve with your past mistakes in mind, wear them like medals because they have made you better, wiser and more experienced. You don’t have to be ashamed of them.

Mistakes are never failures but always lessons.

The right to say NO!

Rezultat iskanja slik za say no

I spent the weekend in great female company celebrating our friend getting married in August. You can imagine all the fun we had during the weekend but I wouldn’t be me if didn’t take a lesson from it.

While we were partying on the beach, a group of men on their bachelor getaway joined us. They were having fun and for the most part they were an okay company but they pissed me right off when I explicitly refused to have sunscreen rubbed on me by them. In douche bag world me saying no meant some of them found it even more interesting and necessary to proceed trying to do it. You can imagine my delight at that. They managed to put some on my back and I told them once more not to make a habit out of it, that it had to stop there, and that I didn’t want to be touched by anyone. I got they found it funny but I didn’t want to participate. Do you think they stopped? Of course, not. It would mean acting like an adult and using their brain.

So when I lied down to catch some sun rays one of them squirted the sunscreen all over my legs. It catapulted me off my towel and into his face. I had enough. I’m still fuming. Their lack of giving me my space and accepting my refusal meant that my need to be kind and tolerant went out of the window at lightning speed.

This is not how a civilized human being who is respectful towards others is supposed to behave. Why is it hard to accept that you as a person have a right to say no and not be considered mean? And why do people on the receiving end of the refusal not accept your answer and see that they are the ones not being nice by continuing to push you? I’m proud of myself for not letting any feelings of guilt sneak into my head. I had every right to say no and they had no right to refuse to accept it. And that’s it.

I talked to some of my friends and they told me they weren’t comfortable but didn’t want to say no and be rude. It baffled me. It’s unbelievable how difficult it is for women to put themselves first and say no when something makes them feel uncomfortable. Saying no, refusing to be a part of something doesn’t make you rude. If it doesn’t feel right, you shouldn’t do it just because you feel pressured. No one has the prerogative to pressure you into anything. And it they do, it’s them who are rude and not you. There is absolute no point in doing anything simply because you don’t want to come off nasty for being the one who refuses to do something. If you don’t want to do it, just don’t. It shouldn’t be more complicated than that.

2018…so far

 

I’ve seen quite some posts about the goals you’ve accomplished already and what you’re looking forward to. So I thought (at the encouragement of a blogging and writing friend) I’d share with you some of the things I have coming up and the timeline of it all.

Yesterday, I finally started my annual holiday and I’m so excited for everything summer has to offer. I’m planning on finishing up the editing process, changing the cover of my first book and publishing my second book simultaneously with the new edition of the first novel, and I want to do it by the end of summer.

Then, we are finishing the planning of our wedding. Things so far are going great and we are actually having fun equally partaking in the process. It’s going to be a bohemian garden wedding. We are inviting just our closest family and friends, engulfing ourselves in flowers, candles and nature, enjoying the food and drinks. Let’s just hope the weather on September 1 doesn’t decide to be a nasty party pooper. For my bachelorette party my phenomenal sister is taking me on a 4-day trip to the Croatian coast. We’ve always wanted to have a holiday with just the two of us but never managed to actually do it, so this it the perfect opportunity to do so.

After the wedding we are returning back to work and planning our honeymoon. We are thinking about Maldives. I’ve always wanted to travel there and stay in the bungalows on the water.

We’re spending Christmas holidays in Slovenia and immediately afterwards we’re moving to India for two years. In the middle of all of it we are making our home.

One could say there is a lot on our plates but we are taking one step at a time, focusing on positives and the fact that we’re making our future and union. No complicating and bitching. So there is a lot of love and enthusiasm poured into every single event.

It’s going to be one hell of a summer. And fall. And winter.

 

What are you up to?

Live, love, lose

prenos

She never lets anyone see her fear. She doesn’t feel like she can. Every time, her tears are used as weapons against her. A shallow stab by her own dagger as soon as a tear manifests in her eye. Her feeling vulnerable and honest always ends up making her feel worse, cut open and left to pull herself together, licking her own wounds. Picking up the fragmented pieces. It’s exhausting. And she can feel the frustration bubbling under the surface.

Every day something manages to chip away at her heart. She still gives it her all, all of her, filled with regret by the end of another day. Her vulnerability is her worst enemy.  She hides her heart, builds walls around herself and tries to cut her losses. Yet the outcome is constantly the same. She will live and she will love, but she will always lose.

She understands that sharing her thoughts is overrated. Sharing isn’t caring, it’s being selfish. Speaking up doesn’t make anyone feel lighter, it doesn’t make anyone in the conversation feel better. It’s unnecessary and it’s a lie. Under false ideas, you enter a conversation, hoping it will be beneficial but you only end up dragging someone else down with you. Feeling even worse. Sharing her pain doesn’t mean obliterating it, it means she makes someone else feel what she feels. And she would add another negative emotion to the pile of dread inside her; she would feel much worse. She prefers to suffer in silence, at least protecting everyone else. Protecting the tiniest part of herself.

Something’s brewing

I’m so eager to have a break from work and focus on finally, finaaaalllyyyy, finishing and publishing my book. There is so much stuff happening, prohibiting me to be able to carry out my plans but that will end soon. I’m in the process of creating a new edition of my first novel, revamping the cover. I’m going to release it with the second novel in the series.

The first time around I couldn’t handle it strategically, everything about my first novel erupted out of me. I vomited it all. And this time around I want to do it differently, I want to be better.

I couldn’t be more excited. I never feel more alive and more vulnerable than when I’m writing or dealing with every other aspect of my books. I heard someone say that if something scares you it means a lot to you and it’s your passion. And I agree with it completely. My lungs inhale most air  and my heart beats most rapidly when writing.

I’ll share the cover soon so stay tuned!

Have a great week!

The Mystery Blogger Award

I found this tag on bookbum.co.uk and I found her questions intriguing so I thought I’d give them a go. (Or a write. Whatever.)

If you had to work but didn’t need the money, what would you choose to do?

I would always choose writing. I’d just do it all around the world. I would take my laptop to the most beautiful places in the world and write my ass off. It would a heavenly perfection.

Where is your favorite place to read?

The beach. Any beach. My heart skipped a beat just thinking about it now.

If you could dis-invent one thing, what would it be?

Without a doubt, weapons. I hate them and the idea of violence being the answer. It makes me sick to my stomach.

If you could live in any other time period, when would it be?

One hundred years from now. I’d really like to see what the world will be like, how it will develop and if people will manage to learn from our mistakes.

Would you rather never be able to express yourself accurately or always have to say the exact truth?

I would rather always say the exact truth. I hate lying, omission, beating around the bush, even opening the same issue repeatedly. So, yeah, that not being able to express myself would be hell.

 

What would your answers be? Come on, tell me!