Excerpt from book 2: “Life inside me”

I close my eyes, simply wanting to revel in the knowing that Colton is lying next to me. I breathe in the scent of him, feeling the bed tilting under his weight, feeling the warmth that his presence exudes next to me.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he says and his voice travels through me, making it feel like it originates in my stomach, coaxing me from within. He touches my face, his thumb grazing my cheekbone and a sigh escapes me.

I could try to explain how I feel with him at my side, to be in the same bed with him, but the best poets would fall short. I could freeze us in this particular moment because there is nothing missing. My spirit feels bright and light; I feel elated and utterly relaxed. It feels as if my heart has finally started to beat; there is finally blood circulating my body. The rough sea that was ransacking through me has been calmed down and my mind is liberated. After a long while, I now feel life inside me. Shit, just not literally. No babies.

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OCD Seduction

Povezana slika

He sauntered towards her, making her heart beat increase. She heard the pulse in her ears as she watched him, anticipating what he’s going to do. She could feel her palms tingling with the need to be placed on him. She felt hot in more ways than one. Eager to kiss him. To touch him. He paralyzed her in the spot with his intense gaze, promising her everything she wanted. Physically. Emotionally. Now and then.

His eyes roamed her body, moving up, scanning her mouth while licking his lips. As their eyes locked again, he molded his lips to hers, taking everything and giving her all. Showing her just how much she means to him. Just how much he finds her attractive.

Ripping each other’s clothes off their bodies, he lifted her onto the counter, pushing himself against her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. A moan escaped her lips, as he kept displaying her what she does to him, how she unravels him. His tongue made his way down, enticing the skin on her neck.

When he pulled away and stared at her with his devilish eyes, he smirked and cleared everything from the flat surface.

She gasped. “Are you out of your mind?” She pushed him away and climbed off the counter.

Tag, I’m it

I’ve had these questions in my drafts for a while now, actually for so long that I can’t remember who tagged me and what the name of the tag was/is. So if anyone recognizes themselves, please let me know.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

I turn off the alarm clock and send a prayer. (Before cursing for having to wake up and go to work.)

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Do you believe there are still good people in this world?

I wholeheartedly do. I refuse to think there is more badness than goodness. And also some people are good and can do a bad thing, and some people might be bad and do something good and nice. Black and white might look good together but it’s not that simple.

What’s your favorite ice cream?

The one in my hand.

What will be your next vacation?

I think something on the Croatian coast. Besides that, I also have my bachelorette trip and honeymoon to consider. But none of it is soon enough!!!

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Have you ever done something you regret?

Who hasn’t? I used to obsess over mistakes I make and have made but now I try to learn from all of it, forgiving myself for faults and moving on. I don’t like to think about regrets, I view them as lessons.

What’s your favorite tv show?

Friends and Will & Grace.

What’s the last dream you had?

I remember dreaming that someone was chasing me through the dark streets tonight. I woke up but I can’t remember the details. It’s been a busy and stressful week and my subconscious doesn’t let sleep stop it.

Do you believe in karma?

Oh, I’m a huge supporter of it. I adore it. I believe that sooner or later everyone gets what they deserve. I would just like it to be even more active and productive. Karma needs to step it up.

What’s one memory from your childhood you won’t forget?

I have quiet a few happy memories from my childhood. And of course some less happy. I’m trying to think of one that is more vivid or important than the rest but I can’t pinpoint it.

Have you ever had a bad experience with someone on WordPress?

No. Everyone has been really nice and lovely people. That’s one of the best things about WP – the people that you can interact with.

Did you enjoy my questions?

Nope. 😉

Passion

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The heart beats manic and frenzied, sprinting as if trying to push me to death. My ribs won’t expend, limiting the intake of air. I feel contrived. Caged. Every tap feels omniscient. Deadly.

But I can’t stop myself. I need it more than air. I need it more than water and food. It’s the state where I feel most exposed and most vulnerable. You can tear me down, you can make me bleed. But it’s the place where I feel most like myself, where I heal.

I tear myself apart in the process. Yet feel most like myself at the end. It’s the best of loves: passionate and demanding. It makes me evolve. It prevents me from turning my back on it. From even considering the idea of it.

I can’t stay away.

I can’t stop.

I need it.

I want it.

I live it.

I breathe it.

I’d kill to protect it.

Maybe Someday

Rezultat iskanja slik za maybe someday

Oh. My. God.

This is one of those books that made me feel. It made me break out in hives, internalizing every single thought and emotion expressed in the story. The words simply tore through me as I tore through the pages, unable to stop reading. To even pause it. I liked the book so much I wanted to have it with me just a while longer after finishing it, just to be able to look at it and revel in the emotions it has caused in me.

Colleen Hoover simply made me feel empathy, frustration, stress, anger, love…anything and everything that the characters were feeling. I found myself rooting for more than one person, confused and scattered. I could feel the intensity through the pages and like a vile monster it gripped my throat, tightening and being relentless until the very end.

And then when you think there is nothing more she can do to you, she goes and gives you lyrics to read, making everything worse and better simultaneously.

And I goddamn knew that I shouldn’t sit down after lunch to read because there are chores waiting for me and I kept telling myself “Just one more chapter”. But since I finished it and have yet to give my attention to my obligations, I guess there’s only one thing I can say to the chores: “Maybe someday.” 🙂

Have you read it?

Superwoman

Rezultat iskanja slik za superwoman

Maybe she’s the reason why I’ve never been able to be obsessed with any superheroes.  Why I’ve never idolized them. Because I have been a witness to someone who has fought through life with unmatched superpowers and no gadgets. All she’s had is herself – her brain and her spirit.

Life has been her franchise villain. Persistently vicious and cruel. And yet she has always shown what it means to be powerful beyond any notions. What it means to be strong and resilient. What it means to be emphatic and yet logical. She is the embodiment of a perfect partnership between heart and reason. She fights battles, gives it her all, but she never loses even the tiniest part of herself. Just the opposite, she grows. She evolves. She progresses.

Sure, anyone can say to try and try again. To get up straight after falling. To keep pushing. But to live and breathe it? To be the billboard picture for it? Not everyone can do it. And she’s been doing it her whole life.

Thirties shmirties

On March 15, I turned 30. If you’re expecting to find any sort of negativity and depression here I hate to disappoint you (but not really). I didn’t find it even slightly dramatic. Just another birthday. Just another year. I had a friend tell me, as if to prep me, that she cried herself to sleep on the last night as a 29-year-old. Why? I don’t really care. With every year I feel more like myself, I adore the experiences that I gather and I’m closer to accomplishing my long-term goals.

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Besides my entering my fourth decade in this world, my boyfriend and I also got engaged. And we’re getting married in September. Six months for planning a wedding? Sure. Why would we ever take the easier, slower process when we can stress ourselves out?

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Besides that I’m also in the process of finishing editing my first draft of my second book, which means I need to get it ready and think about having beta readers read it and how to go about it. Of course, keeping in mind that my goal is to publish it by the beginning of summer. Again, why would I ever take the easier, slower process when I can stress myself out?

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What’s your year been like so far? Any exciting news? Any new plans?