WWW Wednesday

…on a Thursday. 😉 I’m a rebel like that.

I have been going through highs and lows in my reading pace. There have been weeks where I read two books and then some when I couldn’t bring myself to read a single page. But I stop myself from obsessing over it because it’s a period none of us had experienced before and I believe that we need to be kind to ourselves and to others. Whatever makes this time of lockdown easier for you embrace it. Because one thing might work for someone else but not for you and vice versa. Let it go and do your best.

Anyway…

All my books are e-books because currently, I can’t get paperbacks here in India so Kindle has been a lifesaver. I can’t tell you how much I’m craving to hold a physical book and flip actual pages. The first one I manage to actually get…I might sleep with it tightly in my arms just because. 😉

WHAT I READ:

1

 

Last night, I finished Parental Guidance by Avery Flynn. It was a fun and easy read—perfect for this period. I don’t want to read anything too dramatic and angsty right now.

 

 

WHAT I’M READING CURRENTLY:

2

The next book in the series is my current read. Easy and breezy with a lot of funny banter is just what I prescribed for myself.

 

 

 

 

WHAT I’M READING NEXT:

3

A couple of weeks ago, I read Angry God by L. J. Shen and then saw that her new book, The Hunter, is out so I purchased it in the Kindle Store. I’m sure it’ll be intense, hot and full of great one-liners.

P.S. I love black and white covers with a bright title.

 

 

 

Tell me…what did you read? What you’re reading? And what are you going to read next?

21 Days and 21 Seconds

I counted the twenty-one seconds that passed before I uttered anything. I just stared at her beautiful smiling face.

Just say it. Whatever happens…at least you’ll know.

I switched the video call to a regular phone call. Mel asked me a question that I ignored and shot out what I wanted to say before I chickened out.

1, 2, 3. Say it.

“I have to get something out of me. Please, don’t interrupt me for a minute. I just have to say something.”

“Okay,” she responded, uncertainty audible in her voice. The tone of our conversation changed from easy and light to somehow feeling very important and intense. My thoughts and feelings hanging in the air between us.

I didn’t even inhale before starting my blabbing session. Hearing her voice, imagining her biting at her thumb pad nervously, imagining her with bare feet and a fresh face made me want to run toward her. “I really, really hope this doesn’t scare you away, and it’s absolutely fine if you aren’t there yet, if you think it’s too soon for you to label whatever is between us…but I’ve been unable to stop thinking about you and no matter what, I need to get these words out. I want you to hear them and respond however you want. Though, don’t say ‘Thank you.'” I chuckled nervously. “It’s been a while, if ever, that I’ve felt like I know someone so deeply, feel them and feel so much for them. I would like to make things exclusive between us; I want to explore what us means for us. Not having you around, being away from you, even if we talk every day, all day, it’s not enough. It’s made me realize I like having you in my life and I think…” I gulped. “I think I’m falling for you.”

“Wow, Elise.” She sounded overwhelmed.

And then the line got cut.

“Mel? Halo? Mel?” I moved the phone away from me, staring at it like it had some sort of vendetta against me. I brought the screen to life, searching for answers. She couldn’t have hung up on me. She wouldn’t do that, right?

I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, doubts creeping in. If I had just shut up, I wouldn’t have scared her away. And now I got God-knows-how-many days to dwell on it, locked inside my house with no distractions.

Ringing interrupted my internal monologue, Mel facetiming me.

I answered, mentally preparing myself to hear rejection.

“My phone died. Impeccable timing, huh?” She laughed softly. “I feel the same way. Want to make us quarantine-official?”

“Yes, come here. I got a fully stocked kitchen and I know you’ve been postponing to go grocery shopping.”

Her snicker was like music to my ears. Her free and positive energy was contagious. I wanted to have it in the same room, with me. “I’ll be there asap.”

What are you reading?

I’ve mentioned that I haven’t been reading as much as I thought I would at the start of the quarantine. But then March ended (thank God) and I went to check how many books I had actually finished and I realized that I had read four books. Okay, it might not be a ton and I’m sure there are quite a few of you that read 171 books per month. But a book a week with me not feeling like reading as well as writing and just trying to get used to the quarantine and pushing through it isn’t that bad. I am quite pleased with the number.

How many books did you read in March? More or less than usual?

I am making my way through Christina Lauren books so all four were by the author:

Sweet Filthy Boy (Wild Seasons, #1) by Christina Lauren

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren

Roomies by Christina Lauren

Beautiful Beginning (The Beautiful Series Book 6) - Kindle edition ...

My two favorites were Josh and Hazel’s… and Roomies.

Now I am getting close to finishing On the Rocks by Kandi Steiner. I’ve never read any of her books but I’ve heard positive reviews and when I saw a promo for a free e-copy of the book, I jumped on it. And I’m so happy I did. It won’t be the last book I read by her.

Speaking of promos… My first contemporary romance novel EQUINOX is available for 0.99 in the Kindle Store if you’re looking for your next read.

What Books to Pack?!

Rezultat iskanja slik za suitcase books

Yesterday was the first time when I didn’t have to do a single second of editing and it felt weird. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I kept thinking I was forgetting about something. I didn’t feel like myself because I was missing the story of Taya so much. That’s a good sign though, right?

So this trip we’re taking has perfect timing. We’re traveling to Kuala Lumpur for the long weekend. The main agenda is watching the MotoGP race (huge fan right here 😉 ) but we are planning to see the city and have a proper sightseeing holiday.

A week prior to every vacation, I always start thinking about what to pack and at the top of the list are always books, books, books. And some more books. 🙂 When I travel, I love having a Kindle because it makes it so much easier. Otherwise, I could have problems trying to fit everything into my bag.

I have uploaded The Right Swipe by Alisha Ray and The Game by Emma Scott (which is a bundle). I probably won’t manage all three but better be sure than sorry. 🙂 I have also been seeing a lot of books by Cecelia Ahern in India’s bookstore so I want to give her novels a shot and I plan on buying one at the airport.

Have you read any of the authors/books mentioned? Did you like them?

Like a Balloon

It’s been more than ten hours from the text but the time didn’t make it better; it made it worse. The frustration she felt morphed into anger and now, her mind not needed anywhere else, she could witness and sense the anger progressing into rage like a blazing ball. She couldn’t calm herself down; she couldn’t move. The fury was numbing, paralyzing, and so her body was still as her mind turned and her heart beat like a maniac against her rib cage. What she would do to have them in front of her! Then her body definitely wouldn’t be incapacitated. She needed someone to serve as the target but it was just her there. Just her and the maddening ire that was slithering through her veins, wrapping itself around her throat, squeezing and twisting until it felt like there was no other way but to release some of the pressure. Or she would fall victim to it. She tried not to kick and scream but every moment added more to the pile. Added and smothered her. And soon like in a highlight reel, every moment, every word, every person flashed before her eyes and the scream pierced the silence and darkness of her bedroom, probably heard in every bedroom in the houses around hers. But she didn’t care, she let out another yell. And another one. Until she felt deflated. Like a balloon.

 

One Day

Image result for writing a love letter

 

Dear Future,

It’s the people that know you best, that you love most, that can hurt you most cruelly. My heart bleeds and cries for the time I didn’t know disappointment. Your words cut deep and your actions, or the lack thereof, even more. I starve for when I will be immune to whatever you do and say. For a time when you will have no effect on me.

One day, one glorious day, my pain will be yours, your lack of empathy will be mine. I will make it out stronger and better but you will live in the past and regret everything you could have done and everything you actually did. My heart breaks but soon nothing will be left to crumble and from the ashy fragments I’ll rebuild something even stronger.

 

Love,

Someone with Heartache

Eclipse excerpt

Eclipse is coming May 31 and I am so excited, so I wanted to share a special excerpt from the book. I won’t tell you where this part is included in the book—the start, middle or end—but I will tell you that I envisioned this series to represent stages of a committed relationships: meeting and building a relationship in book 1, getting engaged and married in book 2, and the last book will be about them as a married couple. I do hope you read it once it’s out. 🙂

Cover_Eclipse-1


 

My eyes follow the white carpet with the white petals strewn at the sides of it, candles carefully illuminating the way.

And at the end of it all, the most beautiful face, smiling brightly at me, his eyes full of love and affection. Despite the room’s exquisiteness, it all fades, it all disappears, as soon as my eyes get locked with Colton’s.

I count down my steps with each that I take.

Just five more.

My legs start moving faster, pulled towards him.

Just one more.

He takes my hand and immediately electricity shoots through me. It’s a sensation I never knew before and one I could never live without now that I’ve had a taste.

I can’t focus on the words; I can’t even confirm whether the person who is supposed to officiate our marriage is here. Those intense eyes that turn gentle as soon as they land on me have locked me in.

“Alexis and Colton have written their own vows they would like to say.”

Colton smiles warmly, caressing my cheek. “You’ve had me under a spell since the very first morning the universe let me see those bright eyes of yours. You were like a ghost following me everywhere I went, making it impossible to erase you. One short, routine moment made sure that I found the only person I want to share my life with. Without you there is no life worth living. Alexis, I will do everything to make you happy. I will give you all the love and respect I can and even more. You won’t have to ask for anything. I won’t stop until I give you the world, siren.”

Thank God for water-proof makeup. My tears start trailing down my face as I listen to his words, as I watch the sincerity and determination etched on his face. The words wrap around my heart, warming me.

“I love you. And hurry up so I can kiss you,” he whispers only to me, smiling.

“I love you and I promise I won’t obey you and will always challenge you.” Our audience starts chuckling but to me it seems as if they are behind a wall of haze, in a separate room. His face is all I see in focus as I continue. “Someone might not believe there is such a thing as perfection but you are perfect for me in every sense. You are my whole world, the one that matters most to me. You’ve touched my heart, soul and body. You are the reason why I finally feel complete, why I feel like I’ve finally found my place. With you I’ve found my home. I can’t wait to start my life with you. I promise to love you unconditionally and to never leave you. I am you and you are me. Forever. And I promise to minimize the use of the word okay.”

“And fine,” he adds to my vows.

My Own Tormentor

I had something else planned but these past few days have made me want to get this out of me. And if I could, I’d do that literally. 

I’ve shared with you that I’m re-releasing my first book on April 1. It’s a contemporary romance novel that explores the idea of love at first sight and making room for someone else in your life, changing with it. But what is also a significant part in it is having both, female and male characters, equally important, equally strong, equally in control. Equal! No clumsiness on the woman’s part. And no tolerance for assholeness on the man’s part.

I am proud of myself for creating it. I believe it’s an entertaining book that is worth a read. It’s not a collection of essays, it’s a collection of chapters that want to make sure you have fun while reading it.

The writing is not the problem, getting the book out there, promoting it, applying the finishing technical touches… Now those are my tormentors. I am burned out. I wanted, and I still do, to focus on my writing and now that I have that opportunity…the pressure I feel about making the most of it is exhausting. I keep thinking about it and I feel like I just can’t catch a breath. All of it has accumulated into me not being able to sleep, constantly feeling like my brain is on fire. My head burns and it feels like it’s always on. Have you ever experienced that?

There is so much going on inside of me and having identified every emotion almost makes it worst. I am excited and yet I feel scared. I am proud of the end result but I’m filled to the brim with doubt. I love my book and yet hate how much turmoil it causes me. Basically, I’m a mess. But I suppose feeling true passion makes you want to check into an institution. I am trying to unwind somehow before that happens. It doesn’t help that we’ve moved and I’m trying to find comfort out of my comfort zone.

 How do you relax when you feel strained?

First book 2.0

Hello, my dear blogging friends! I really hope that this week, and the first half of March, has been good to you. Though I have nothing major to complain about, I feel like I keep waiting for life to calm down but I never seem to get it. Is there such a thing as a calm life? I’ll believe it when I see it. Because so far it seems like as soon as I get rid of one thing two other things pop up. Do you ever feel like that?

Anyway… Ever since we moved to India, I’ve been focusing and working on my writing and I decided to re-do the first book while I am also working on my second book in the same series. And on Sunday I finished the final edit of my first novel. I edited it once more, took quite a few pages and scenes out, added some.

Looking back, because hindsight is a nasty b-i-t-c-h, I should’ve edited and re-edited and then done some more editing on my first book before publishing it. I wasn’t ready. The book wasn’t ready. But I was so passionate and excited to publish it. So eager to make it happen that that drive took over everything else. I was a rookie, still am, but now I know better. I don’t know everything, far from it, but I know more.

There are many emotions flowing through me. I have regrets and I am embarrassed for not waiting and working on it, for sending it into the world and letting people open and read it when it was far from ready. If I could I would channel some magic and vanquish every single copy, substituting it with the current copy. But sadly I can’t do that. I have to accept that I made a mistake and learn from it, evolve it and do better.

Like I said, I finished the final edit this Sunday and now I am doing some changes on the cover because the proof I got back isn’t exactly how I want it to be. And I’m working on my social media accounts and the promo. Soon I’ll let you know when the book is coming out. And it will be soon. Very soon. 🙂

I am also going to do another round of editing on my second book and release it soon after the first. 

And then I’m jumping into a fresh project that I am very excited about and can’t wait to start. I know how and when I want to finish The Alpha Series but it will just wait its turn and have a short break.

What are you up to? Do you ever feel like you rushed into something?