Puff of air

She pretends to work, like she is doing something extremely important, something that demands her full attention and brain capacity. Even throws in a long sigh or five just to make it more authentic.

But her focus is somewhere else. On someone else. She can’t stop looking at him as he’s talking to a co-worker.

Her eyes drink him in. The grey suit with no tie does wonders to his body that has never seen the inside of a gym. His hair could use a haircut but she just wants to run her fingers through it and make it even more messy. After she cleans his glasses for him.

He smiles and draws her attention to the lips no one would describe as anything but average. But that smile is disarming. That smile charms her socks and sneakers off. It would charm her clothes off if it came to it. When he smiles, she sees the glimpse of his positive and caring nature that they all have come to rely on. If you have a problem, he is the one that saves the day.

“Natalie?”

“Hmm?” She looks up right into the eyes she was fantasizing about. Those warm hazelnut eyes that always gleam like they have a secret joke no one else is privy too.

“We’re going out for drinks later, want to come?”

“I’d rather go for drinks with just you.” She practically shoots it out of her mouth before she can change her mind.

“Hmm?” It’s his time to be confused.

“I’d like to go on a date with you, if you’re up for it.” Her heart is beating in her chest, working its way out past her ribs.

He smiles warmly and she can sense the rejection before she hears it. “Nat, I thought you knew. I have a boyfriend.”

In a puff of air her crush evaporates and she really, really wishes it would take her with it.

 

Liebster Award

I’m cheating here because I wasn’t nominated but I read the tag on Bookish Luna and thought it would be fun to do. Go check that post out and give me your answers to the questions in the comments. 🙂

1. What book/s can you not live without?

It’s probably the most common answer but… I don’t care. It’s the Harry Potter series. I have so many fond memories of it and it’s been a part of my life for so long.

2. Your first favorite book?

I wrote an entire and a completely different answer and had to delete it, cursing myself out. How could I’ve forgotten it?? My 1st favorite book was Beauty and the Beast. I need to get a new copy because I’ve lost the old one. Well didn’t lose it, my parents did in our move years ago. 🙂

3. Goodreads challenge/reading goal for this year?

It’s 24 books. 

4. Favorite series?

What do you think? 🙂

5. Do you read Fanfiction?

Never tried it.

6. Where is your favorite place to read?

On a beach.

7. Are you a fast or slow reader?

I guess a fast reader. If I like it, I’ll devour it.

8. Do you use bookmarks?

Yes. The strangest thing happened on Sunday. I sat down on the couch to read, I opened the book and set the bookmark aside. But since then I can’t find it anywhere. And I’ve checked everywhere! It’s bugging me.

9. What book do you recommend the most to others?

Anything by Colleen Hoover. I love her writing. Her last novel that I recommended to someone was Maybe Someday.

10. Where do you buy your books?

When we lived in Slovenia I ordered them online, but now that we are living in India, I still need to find a bookstore and so I’m mostly buying e-books. 

11. What book do you dislike that everyone seems to love?

I’m trying really hard to find the answer…but I can’t think of anything. Oh, wait. Last year I read Dear Jane by Kendall Ryan and it has a 3.77 score on Goodreads which I think is pretty good but I didn’t. Like. It. At. All.

 

What are your answers? Do we any in common?

Tombstone

It was a gloomy day that had been threatening to spill over since the morning. It was mimicking her inner turmoil. She couldn’t focus on anything, felt far from productive and wherever she went melancholy accompanied her. She felt heavy and sad. She felt depressed, like the weight of the world was especially heavy that day. The burden she had been accustomed to carry her whole life, the burden she barely noticed most days, was threatening to bury her under it today.

She decided to give up on trying to work and went for a walk. Most people were hiding inside, not wanting to get caught in the rain, but she welcomed it. She wanted to be cleansed, feel lighter.

Her legs kept carrying her forward, she wasn’t paying attention to the direction. After an hour she realized she ended up at the cemetery. She stared at the gate, wondering when and if she decided to come here.

But now that she was here, there was little point in turning around and going away. She walked in and stopped only when she reached her parents’ grave. Her hands in her pockets, she scanned the tombstone, her eyes caressing the letter and numbers. There was so much emotions ransacking through her, so much pain and hurt, it took all over her strength to remain on her feet.

As the memories penetrated her mind, her legs gave in. She folded onto the grass, her legs underneath her. She lowered her head and sighed loudly. She felt alone, like there was no one that knew her, like there was no one for her, like no one could help. She was the solution to other people’s problems, but in the time of need no one was there to solve hers. Their troubles were hers but her troubles were hers as well. She had taken that realization with her every day but on that day it weighed more, it pressed on her soul.

She fought. She ached. She suffered. Alone.

And as the first tear fell from her eye, so did the first raindrop from the sky.

Quick check-in

I’m sitting in our new house, listening to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata (because if I don’t listen to something instrumental I’m going to sing along and do absolutely nothing productive) and to my empty stomach (because I don’t know what to make for lunch), and I thought I’d do a quick check-in (as if the title doesn’t imply it). Ufff, I’m really on a roll with these brackets (not really). (I promise I’m not high). 🙂

Anyway…

I’ve been focusing on editing my second book and I’m definitely making progress. I’m on the last 80 pages out of 460 but I don’t really have a deadline. I’m taking my time, I’m having fun with it. Since moving to India I’ve been able to set my own schedule and I want to enjoy every minute of it. I want to have fun while getting my first and second book ready for the release. However, I’m definitely planning to publish the books in spring of this year. And then start with a new novel which I already have in mind and can’t wait to start writing.

What are you all up to? Any writing or reading (or eating) plans?

Bubble

Povezana slika

You know what I’ll always love the most about what we have? Our bubble.

The bubble that gets created as soon as we’re together. That bubble no one can penetrate and that makes it seem like no one else can even reach it – people are there but they don’t participate in our world. It’s the moment when there are people around us but as if they don’t exist, we gravitate towards each other, our hands or at least our eyes never leaving the other one. It’s those minutes when we write our own plot during the story of where we are and who with. It’s the intimate circle of just the two of us when we get lost in laughter, when all we want to do is talk to each other although we’ve spent the entire day together, when we wish to get away as fast as possible just because we don’t need anyone else but each other. It’s the bubble created with our heads drawn together, the moment no one can break and no one dares to try.

The bubble shows how much love, respect, sacrifice and time we’ve put into the relationship and it’s like a halo around us displaying what we mean to each other and what we have. I would never trade it for anything. It means the world and it is our world.

Last kiss

Povezana slika

In a hurry she collected her things, rushing to get out the doors and careful not to wake him up. His handsome face was so tranquil, like he was having the nicest dream, and she wanted nothing more but to be able to stare at him and enjoy his peacefulness. Her heart played the most beautiful symphony considering it, basking in the idea.

She lingered in the doorway of their bedroom, her lips itching to touch his. Wanting to run her fingers through his hair. She knew every single inch of this man, physically and mentally. And loved it all.

One look at her watch and she had to push the thoughts aside. Business waited for no one and she’d see him tonight. She’d kiss him then. Touch him after a long day.

After a few steps, she stopped abruptly. Will he be here? 

The idea of not having him here, of not having him at all, sent chills down her spine. Nausea built in her stomach as dark thoughts harassed her.

What if something happened? And one of them didn’t come back?

Not having that last kiss would haunt her anywhere she went. What if this morning’s kiss would actually be the last?

Her lips tingled with the need for his. Her chest tight and heartbeat fast, she dropped her things, turned around and returned to the bedroom.

She bent over her sleeping husband and kissed him gently, promising him eternal love. Wherever she was. Breathing him in. Taking the memory of this moment with her for the day.

She felt at ease now. Everyone and everything can wait but not him. And not them.

OCD Seduction

Povezana slika

He sauntered towards her, making her heart beat increase. She heard the pulse in her ears as she watched him, anticipating what he’s going to do. She could feel her palms tingling with the need to be placed on him. She felt hot in more ways than one. Eager to kiss him. To touch him. He paralyzed her in the spot with his intense gaze, promising her everything she wanted. Physically. Emotionally. Now and then.

His eyes roamed her body, moving up, scanning her mouth while licking his lips. As their eyes locked again, he molded his lips to hers, taking everything and giving her all. Showing her just how much she means to him. Just how much he finds her attractive.

Ripping each other’s clothes off their bodies, he lifted her onto the counter, pushing himself against her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. A moan escaped her lips, as he kept displaying her what she does to him, how she unravels him. His tongue made his way down, enticing the skin on her neck.

When he pulled away and stared at her with his devilish eyes, he smirked and cleared everything from the flat surface.

She gasped. “Are you out of your mind?” She pushed him away and climbed off the counter.